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Whispers of Reason

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I find myself thinking about my children when they were younger,  full of joy and smiles,  happy and innocent.  Both of my children are teens now, 16 and 18.  While they are both severe autistic and non-verbal. I can still see a change in their eyes.  In many ways they are still small children. However there are times I see it.  When my son is frustrated because he can't express his thoughts clearly. Or my daughter doesn't understand why she can't have what she wants when she wants it.  It honestly breaks a part of me.  I keep reminding myself that while I might not be able to "fix" them, at least I can fight for them to smile.  I have tried public schools a few times. They were only concerned with my kids being quiet and not a bother and absurd rules that did not matter.  A primary example was shoes.  Often times due to sensory related issues my son would only wear his crocs. Yet instead of allowing him to attend school they would ...

A Fathers Last Hope

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A Fathers Last Hope I have been broken so many times, It is only now that find the strength to climb out of this hole again. I struggle to find the bits that are left of my heart, my soul and my drive. Grasping onto threads that remain from a torn tapestry of my mind. Struggling with the concept of hope and lies. I fear I am getting much to old to continue this fight. Remembering when I was young and full of fire, now I stand on borrowed time and my children have become the fuel to keep my mind bright. I hope for a chance to give them what they deserver. Now is time I stand to fight. Hoping that I can maintain for another night. Whispers of ruin in my ear from those I thought on my side. Needles in my back slowly bleeding me dry. Leaving just enough for another days climb. My hands are tattered and torn my face becoming wrinkled and old. Slowly each tick of time robbing a dream of mine. All I wanted was to share the art in my soul with the world. In the hope that someone might find und...